I think it has been some time since I've rly sat down and think about the stuff that has been happening arnd me. Time sure has passed since my "diamond" blog entry. Since thn, people have changed, I've changed, people have left, and people have become blessings in disguises. I'm leaving for hong kong in approx. 8 hours and I've got no idea why I decided t read my past entries.
For the past few mnths since "diamond" entry, a million and one things have happened. I studied for Os, I stressed out for Os, I conquered Os, and I'm "enjoying" post Os. Honestly, although I've got a million and one things t strike off my "Post Os To-Do" list. I've only managed t accomplish one. It's been barely 2 weeks of Os, and I've resorted t saying, "I'm gna study for next year!"
Many a times, I've questioned God about the Charis that was so passionate and joyful just 10 mnths back. What happened t that girl, who wanted t do so much for Him? And I constantly wondered if she left on an airplane headed for no whr.
I constantly picture myself filled w things up till my head. Confused, unhappy, and a girl looking for happiness elsewhr. And I can't even believe how cold and numb I've become t everything. It shocks me t see what I've even become, it's scary. Even a 12okm/h bike ride didn't give me satisfaction, so thn what is it that will satisfy that hunger.
sneak out of the house thru the windows, date a biker, hit 14okm/h, leave the country, let out screams of agony, excitement, temporal freedom. anything beats being bored shitless and confused. i'm gna let my body understand the meaning of thrill once more. i'm not gna stay still.
It thrills you for the first few times, thn soon, that thrill dies down and it becomes mundane.
For the past few mnths since "diamond" entry, a million and one things have happened. I studied for Os, I stressed out for Os, I conquered Os, and I'm "enjoying" post Os. Honestly, although I've got a million and one things t strike off my "Post Os To-Do" list. I've only managed t accomplish one. It's been barely 2 weeks of Os, and I've resorted t saying, "I'm gna study for next year!"
Many a times, I've questioned God about the Charis that was so passionate and joyful just 10 mnths back. What happened t that girl, who wanted t do so much for Him? And I constantly wondered if she left on an airplane headed for no whr.
I constantly picture myself filled w things up till my head. Confused, unhappy, and a girl looking for happiness elsewhr. And I can't even believe how cold and numb I've become t everything. It shocks me t see what I've even become, it's scary. Even a 12okm/h bike ride didn't give me satisfaction, so thn what is it that will satisfy that hunger.
sneak out of the house thru the windows, date a biker, hit 14okm/h, leave the country, let out screams of agony, excitement, temporal freedom. anything beats being bored shitless and confused. i'm gna let my body understand the meaning of thrill once more. i'm not gna stay still.
It thrills you for the first few times, thn soon, that thrill dies down and it becomes mundane.

